yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
