you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
