It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
