I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
barbara walters just said penis...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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