I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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