the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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