We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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