It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
