he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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