Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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