And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
