is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
