so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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