i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
