he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
