Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
