He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Too much gin, very little bucket
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
