He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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