He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
