I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
