Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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