If i come over, it means nothing
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
