Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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