We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
