absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
