Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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