My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
