So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
