yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
