i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
