They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
