I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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