She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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