I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
