she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Non-Jews are for practice
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
there is glitter all over my balls
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