I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
