theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
