i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
