I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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