Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
