I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
