Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
