so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
