New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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