Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
