There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So vagazzling was a success
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
