what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
