We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
