Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
