I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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