i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
