It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I deserve this hangover.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
